He Had The World Or So He Thought
by Ryley Brennen
Summary: Roxas had the world on a string, but he could never have the one he really wanted. Inspired by the Panic! At The Disco song "She Had The World."
1. My Immortal

DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I do not own the Kingdom Hearts series. Trust me, if I did, a lot of those "close friendships" would be a LOT more that simply "friendship." I also don't own any song, book, movie, or game that I may mention (in the title of the chapter or in the story) unless I specify that I do. Which means that I don't own the song "My Immortal." That belongs to the wonderful Evanescence.

* * *

(^*^)

_FLASHBACK _(^*^)

"_Don't forget about me, OK?" I asked._

_He just laughed his beautiful laugh and said, "How could I ever forget about you, Roxy? You're my best friend. I'll call you every day and complain about how much life on the road sucks."_

_I laughed at his statement. He climbed into the van with all of his things and the rest of the band and began to shut the door. Demyx had already started driving when Axel shouted something back to me, but I couldn't hear him._

That was about three years ago. Axel had just graduated and his band, _Castle NeverWas_, had just gotten signed. They had recorded a CD while they were still in school, but their label called them off on a tour soon after. Yeah, he called me every now and then, but he didn't keep his promise.

He forgot about me.

* * *

To everyone else, my life was perfect; the perfect girlfriend, perfect family, perfect apartment, and full ride scholarship to Twilight University. I was a journalism major and Naminé was an English major. We were in nearly every class together.

To my brother, my life sucked.

"Why are you even with her?" Sora asked me one day while we were out.

"Well," I began, "she's smart, and nice, and-"

"I know all that boring stuff. I mean, why are you with her at all? We all know you don't love her," he countered.

"And this 'we' consists of…" I asked.

"Riku and me, of course!" he exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. His opinion matters, yes, but Riku and I still don't see eye to eye. Maybe I pranked him one too many times after he started dating Sora…

"Naminé is, well, I guess _safe_ would be the word," I replied sheepishly. Sora gave me a look that screamed _IDIOT!_

Well, it was sad, but true.

* * *

"Roxas, honey, you might want to go get some food soon. Your kitchen's empty," Naminé said, leaning around the doorframe. Apparently she had tried to surprise me with dinner for two, but in my apartment, ramen, Hot Pockets, and LeanCusine were the three main food groups.

"Thanks for the memo, Nami. I'll go tomorrow," I said just to appease her. I had tons of my usual microwave feasts, so I had no real reason to go. She just wanted to complain because she's used to having catered meals by the world's top chefs. Her dad was an editor at a high-end book company, so she had the world on a string.

"So, there's this great band that's coming to town soon. You'd love them," Naminé continued. "I think we should go to their concert. Daddy can get us front row seats."

"Sure, sounds great," I replied. Maybe Sora had a point. Why _was_ I with Naminé?

"Yay! I _so_ get to dress you for the concert, though. You don't exactly have their style," she added.

I continued to simply agree with whatever she said. I was too lost in my own thoughts to care.

Turns out that would bite me in the butt later.

* * *

The day of the show arrived, and Naminé came over early to make me her human play toy. She left my hair in its normal spiky state, but surprised me when she raided my closet.

"Who knew you ever had clothes like this!" she exclaimed, pulling out a pair of fitted, shredded, black jeans that I hadn't worn in months.

Two hours later, I was locking my house and getting weird looks from my neighbors. Yeah, I did change my style when I went to college, but it's not like they haven't seen a teenager dressed in black before. It was just a tee, jeans, and skater shoes. No big deal.

We climbed into Naminé's car, and, for once, I got to drive. Everyone wants to drive her car at least once. I mean, who wouldn't? It was a freaking Aston Martin Vanquish: a sleek, black coupe with V12 engine, 0-62 in 4.4 seconds, and a top speed of 196 mph. It was the Bond car from _Die Another Day_ and the keys were in my hands. That had to be a sign that that night was going to be great.

Naminé gave me directions to the venue, which happened to be the old Bastion Theatre in downtown Radiant Garden. This band had to be good: only the best played at the Bastion.

As soon as we walked inside, I began to really get psyched. I hadn't been to the Bastion in three years. It brought back so many memories, but I shoved them back. No need to wish for the impossible, right?

"So, gonna tell me who's on tonight yet?" I asked. Naminé just shook her head and lead me to our seats: front row center; the best in the house, if you're one of those "right there with the band" people.

"You'll see soon enough. It's going to start soon anyways. Besides, it's a band that used to be somewhat local," she replied. That told me nothing. Tons of bands popped up from the Radiant Garden area, and quite a few of them got signed.

I glanced around the stage and noticed something familiar sitting there. Axel's guitar, the one he spent an entire summer building out of bits and pieces he special ordered, was staring at me. I know instruments don't really stare, but it felt like it did. I didn't know if I wanted to stay anymore. I hadn't seen Axel in three years and we'd lost all contact. The way Naminé had dressed me, he'd recognize me instantly.

"Why didn't you tell me _Castle NeverWas_ was the headliner?" I exclaimed.

"I wanted to surprise you," she said. She opened her mouth as if to continue, but she was cut off when the lights dimmed and the crowd roared.

"What's up Bastion? Been a while, hasn't it?" Demyx called out in his perpetually cheerful voice. It was now or never. Stay and listen to what was going to be a great show or run from the chance to see my best friend that washed his hands of me three years ago. I looked around me and realized that there were too many people blocking my path for me to get away.

Naminé looked ecstatic. I, on the other hand, probably had the same look on my face a deer does in the split second before the rushing headlights turn into a full-fledged car crash.

Yeah, I was making a big deal out of it all, but hey, I was still pretty pissed at Axel. He made all these stupid promises before he left, and he never once made good on them.

By the time I had finished my bitchy internal monologue, the band had already started their show. They had started with some of their older stuff: some of the songs that made me remember the days I had spent with Axel at their practices, laughing and generally having a good time. The rest of the crowd was singing along and dancing like teenage idiots. I was the one standing there wishing I wasn't.

Just when I saw my escape route, he looked at me. I can't say that Axel knew for sure that it was me, but considering I looked exactly like I did in high school, it would've been hard not to recognize me. His green eyes stared a hole through me, and all I could think about was getting as far away as possible.

"Naminé!" I shouted over the blaring music, "I can't stay here. I'm sorry. I'll call you later, OK?" I knew full well that she hadn't heard me (hence the confused look on her face), but I continued to push my way through the crowd. Once I made it to the back of the theatre, I ran for the door, and then found the nearest taxi.

* * *

"You're moping again," Sora said. I was, once again, laying on the couch in my apartment and making good use of the huge TV and surround sound system my brother had conned me into buying.

"Am not," I countered lamely as I flipped channels. So I was being a lazy bum in my own home. Sue me.

"Are too," he replied and he had a valid point. I was still in the same pajamas that I had worn for the last week, and I had been too lazy to even make a microwave meal, opting for take-out instead.

"It's Axel, isn't it?" he asked. My only response was to look away from the on-screen TV guide and glare at my brother.

"Yeah, well, how would you feel if your best friend left you for three years, then didn't even bother telling you he's gonna be in town? Not to mention I've been with Naminé for an eternity and she still doesn't know anything about me. What kind of girlfriend doesn't take the time to get to know the guy she's dating?" I replied lazily.

"The same one who's been calling you every hour since you walked out of the concert," Sora sighed as the phone rang, yet again. I grabbed it and answered just to get some peace.

"Nam, you don't have to keep checking up on me, you know," I said.

"Well, I dunno who this 'Nam' is, but man, answer your phone once in a while!" said the voice on the other end.

_He_ was calling me? _Axel_ was effing calling me?

I did the only logical thing that came to mind: quickly hang up the phone. What else was I supposed to do? I then promptly dropped it as if the phone were a spider. I _hate_ spiders.

"I'm assuming that wasn't Naminé?" Sora said. It was more a statement than a question.

"Whatever possessed _him_ to call me?" I hissed. I still wasn't too pleased with Axel, but something was telling me to forgive him. For three years, I pretended that I hated _Castle NeverWas_. Everyone that had known me in high school thought it was weird that I completely changed when I got to college.

If only they knew the full story.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, so this is technically my second story on here. My first, Chase the Morning, just wasn't going anywhere. I was too lazy to write down my ideas, so the storyline just imploded. Anywho, I will try to keep this one going!

Reviews are the fuel to my passionate writing fire! Please send them!

Much love,  
Ryley


	2. Dirty Little Secret

DISCLAIMER: By the way, I forgot to mention that I don't own that freaking AMAZING Aston Martin from the last chapter…that belongs to James Bond (who I also don't own). On the other hand, I have touched that lovely DB70 from _Goldfinger_ (sneakily)…does that count for anything?

*Insert standard disclaimer here from previous chapter* By the way, "Dirty Little Secret" belongs to The All American Rejects. Gotta love 'em.

* * *

(^*^)

_FLASHBACK _(^*^)

It was just another boring day of high school: teachers lectured, even though summer was blooming outside the window. In a mere three days, we would all be free. My best friend, Axel, and I had major plans for hitting the beach all summer long. His stepdad, Xigbar, was going to teach us how to surf. I was so psyched!

My phone vibrated in my pocket. The teacher wasn't looking my way, so I pulled it out to see a familiar message on my phone:

_1 new message from:_

_Akuseru_

Of course it was from Axel. He was the only one (besides my twin brother, Sora) who would text me during class.

_Roku, u coming to practice 2day?_ he asked me.

_Of course, where else would I be?_ I replied. He knew that I always came to listen to his band, _Castle NeverWas_, practice. They had an amazing sound, and an even more amazing cult following at our school. Everyone knew that they would hit it big, that is, if they could ever get signed.

Finally, the bell rang. I quickly jumped from my seat, grabbed my bag, and ran out the door. I immediately headed for Axel's car, just as I always did. I leaned against the door of his old black BMW and waited until he came out of the school.

Eventually, he decided to show. He walked out with Demyx, who seemed way more hyper than he usually was, if that is even possible. Axel seemed pretty excited about whatever Demyx was saying. His smile was infectious to watch…but then again, it usually was.

* * *

(^*^) _PRESENT DAY _(^*^)

I still couldn't believe that I had hung up on Axel. Any other person would be excited to simply hear his voice, but the thought made me incredibly nervous. It had taken me years to get over the pain of losing my best friend. Axel had become everything to me. I had just been too afraid to tell him exactly how I felt.

I heard a delicate knock at my door, then a key turning in the lock. Why I ever gave Naminé a key, I will never know.

"Roxas, dear, it's me. Are you ok?" she asked. I didn't understand her question at first. Then I remembered that I had run out on her about a week before.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. I had never bothered to tell her, or anyone else for that matter, that I had known _Castle NeverWas_ before they hit it big. I was their original roadie, the one that was at all their shows. Sometimes I would even write a song or two for them, but those days were gone.

She seemed to notice that I was having an internal battle because she simply hugged me. I allowed her a few minutes of contact before I shrugged her off. At least I had changed into normal clothes today.

"So, can I ask why you left the concert last week?" she asked me after a few minutes. I swear, that girl has the subtlety of a steamroller!

"Sure," I replied noncommittally. I stood up from my place on the couch and went to the kitchen to make myself a bowl of beef ramen. I decided to actually use the stove, just to kill time.

"Ok, then why did you leave?" she asked again. I could tell she was beginning to get annoyed with my word play. I had begun filling a pot with water, so I pretended not to hear her.

"Roxas," she said as she turned off the water, "what is wrong with you? The past week you have been a zombie! Everyone is worried about you! Even Riku!"

That shocked me back to reality. Riku was worried about me? What was this world coming to? Next thing I know, I'll be making millions as the owner of the New York Times! Hah! Like that'll ever happen.

I just sighed and stirred the noodles around. I felt her arms encircle my waist and she hugged me from behind.

"You can tell me what's bothering you," she said.

"I wish I could, Naminé, but you wouldn't understand," I replied.

Eventually she dropped the hug. I guess she was tired of my moping because she eventually left. I just sat in my living room with my large TV and ate my ramen while watching whatever was on. I felt like a horrid person for shoving away everyone I cared about, but I still wanted Axel to at least try to contact me. Maybe he thought that I didn't want to be around him anymore…

* * *

Author's Note: I just want to clear this up now: I am not planning on putting Kairi in this story. I don't really care for her (but then again, I don't really care for Naminé either…), so I'm sparing myself the pain. Naminé is just here to cause drama. Can't have a story without drama!

Anywho, I know it's kinda random to have Xigbar as Axel's stepdad, but I have a personal reason for that. I used to be an Axel cosplayer, but now I am Xigbar (just because I'm used to having no depth perception). Not a great reason, but, hey, it works for me.

Reviews are the eggs to my cake batter! (Try making a cake and forget the eggs…it's not pretty. I would know.)

Much love,

Ryley


	3. War In Your Bedroom

DISCLAIMER: See the top of chapter one. And part of chapter 2. I don't own the song "War In Your Bedroom" by A Change of Pace (By the way, listen to that song while reading this chapter. It makes it SO much better…) or "Punk Rock Princess" by Something Corporate (Which you should also listen to while reading this, or anything else by Something Corporate or Jack's Mannequin. I adore Andrew McMahon's work. Really. I wrote a whole application essay about how his Dear Jack foundation has inspired me. It's epic.).

(^*^) _FLASHBACK _(^*^)

"You'll never guess what just happened, Roxy!" Axel said as he climbed behind the wheel of his sleek black car. I just tilted my head and waited for his response.

"We got signed!" he cried. I had never seen him happier. He and the band would be on the road and I would be with them as their manager, selling off as much merchandise as I could, maybe making a cameo appearance as a roadie every now and then onstage. Summer was going to be awesome!

The entire way home, Axel continued to rave about the news. I just sat back and gave my standard noncommittal answers just to show that I was listening when, in fact, I most definitely wasn't. Axel was just so excited about his music and to tell the truth, it kinda turned me on. Who doesn't like sexy musicians?

I didn't even notice that we had pulled into Axel's driveway until he turned off the car and he was halfway to the front door.

"Are you coming?" he called back to me. _Not yet_, I thought, _but soon enough…_

"Um, yeah. Sorry. I kinda spaced," I called back, unable to get my thoughts, as well as other things, under control. I grabbed my bag and ran for the door, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"So, do I get to doll you up for the show tonight?" he asked.

It took a little while for the thought to register. "Yeah, sure. You do for every other show," I replied. He had decided a few years ago that a "merch girl" was necessary to the band's survival, but a girl was in short supply…

"I've got to take a shower first," I said. "You always make me wear those damn extensions in my hair and they never work with spikes."

"Sure, you know where it's at!" he called from what I like to call The Closet of Doom. It contained every feminine article of clothing that Axel had ever forced me into…both for the shows and for his own amusement.

I took my usual route to the bathroom, stopping to grab a towel on the way. It was sweet relief when the water washed over my body. Too bad it did nothing for the raging boner between my legs.

I knew that Axel would be too busy picking out my next designer straitjacket to notice what I was doing in there, what I had wanted to do since he picked me up that morning for school. Just the thought of relief made it even worse. My hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they traveled lower, eventually giving my body the sensation that it craved.

I didn't even notice that Axel had gotten into the shower with me until I felt his hands slide around my waist, as if waiting for permission. I just leaned into his shoulder and let him take over.

"I knew you had a good reason to take a shower," Axel whispered as he nipped at my earlobe, making his way down my neck.

Somehow, my lust-clouded mind realized what was happening…and I was all for it. I turned around and kissed him gently, but he obviously didn't want it to stay that way. His tongue slipped into my mouth as his hands moved up towards my chest. I groaned at that the loss of contact, but, luckily, he seemed to sense my annoyance.

Axel broke the kiss and turned me around so I was leaning against the smooth tile wall of the shower. His hand once again found my erection but his other was slowly stretching my body, preparing me for the best part of it all.

I was helpless as he touched me. My body was nothing more than his plaything as he lovingly worked me over. His fingers felt amazing inside of me. He was caressing me in all the right places. I never wanted it to end.

Eventually, he pulled his fingers out of me. I whined in annoyance. I was so close, damn it! I wanted him back in me already! I got my wish soon after as I felt Axel's tip pushing into me slowly. I moaned loudly. It felt so effing good!

"You know, you'd think I'd know by now how noisy you are during sex," he whispered breathlessly.

"Yeah, well…ah…" I forgot what I was going to say as Axel finally buried himself inside of me. I felt as if I would explode from the sheer amount of pleasure that was coursing through my veins, into my heart, and out into my arteries to start all over again. I could only feel Axel moving inside of me, hear his ragged breathing and groaning, and see the stars that seemed to cloud my vision. It all became too much for me to take.

"Axel, uhn…I'm…oh…" I didn't have time to finish my sentence before I was carried away by the blissful, sweet rush of relief. I was vaguely aware of Axel shuddering in his own release behind me, but I was almost too worn out to care.

Sometime later, we managed to untangle ourselves from each other and shut off the water. There was a comfortable silence between us as we dried off and began to dress. For once, I didn't complain as I put on the miniskirt, corset top (complete with fake boobs), and matching jacket. I was Axel's punk rock princess, and that's all that mattered to me.

Author's Note: *extreme blush* So, my best friend wrote what she called a "map" for me because I was too embarrassed to write this myself…but I ended up writing it all out anyways. Yeah. So, um…I have no idea what else to write here…

And my other best friend, Lycoris (a.k.a. Lycoris413), wanted me to change the title to something a bit more...relevant, shall we say? Too bad wouldn't let me...or this chapter would be "War In Your Bedroom...Or Shower..."

Reviews are the music to my lyrics! What are words without music behind them? (…a poem, perhaps?)

Much love,

Ryley


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